Category: Single Solo Travel

As a traveller, South Africa is my favourite country in the world.

I’ve been there three times over the past two years as a solo white female traveller, including January to March 2020, and I already can’t wait to go back. I consider Cape Town to be my spirit city, I had the most life-changing journey in Kruger with Brett Horley Safaris, I leaned into adventure on the Garden Route, and I soaked in the magic of the Great Karoo. The vibes, the adventures, the landscapes, the views, the food, the music, the wine — check, check, check, check, check, check, check. All is perfect, or so it seemed.

I have found South African people to be some of the most hospitable, friendly, fun-loving people I’ve ever met. They are always up for a chat and know how to have a good time. You can walk up to a group of South Africans and within minutes you’ll be cheersing a shot of Amarula and elbows-deep in a succulent braai. South Africans will extend their homes, their food, and their love to you. Put simply: they are lekker.

South Africa is not the safest country in which I’ve travelled. It’s not the least corrupt. Or the most open-minded. But it is my favourite.

With the recent events opening up the world’s eyes to the realities of racism and our responsibilities in it, my idyllic life as a digital nomad in Cape Town feels worlds away. But as I listen, learn, and realize my ignorances in doing my part to fight racism after all these years, my mind keeps going back to my happy place: South Africa.

It is our problem

When I was in South Africa I was aware there was an equality problem, but I glazed over it: “I’m a nice person. I’m not racist. These issues are so deeply rooted in their history: what can I possibly do? Not my problem.”

But as I learn about the underlying and relentless effects of systemic racism, my own unconscious biases, and racial microaggressions that I have been unintentionally guilty of, it’s becoming more and more clear that I will be conducting myself differently next time I return to my favourite country.

I’m replaying moments from my time there where racism floated right under my nose and I didn’t do anything to stop it. I’m ashamed of my ignorance. I am learning now that this is my problem. It’s the problem of anyone who isn’t okay with the effects of racism and inequality. I am making a conscious effort to constantly check myself, speak up, and do better. I would love to invite my South African friends to do the same. 

Is racism different in South Africa?

The spotlight is on the USA right now due to the unjust killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and many more, but racism holds the same definition across every country, which is the idea that a racial group is inferior to others.

My white South African friends are not strangers to being targeted because of the colour of their skin. They share stories of murders, theft, arson, assault, land grabs, and more, many at the hands of Black people. These actions are horrific no matter what colour your skin is.

But there is no such thing as racism against white people.

Historically and statistically, white people have reigned supreme. We hold the power and privilege. We are not up against centuries of systemic and institutionalized racism. So although we may be targeted because of our skin, we are not the victims of racism.

South Africa is no exception. If we’re going to talk about racism, let’s look at the country that most recently fostered racism by law.

Apartheid ended only 26 years ago. Black and Coloured people were shut out from white society, stripped of their rights, and made to feel inferior. With 75 percent of its residents being Black, that’s not something that a nation can bounce back from just because the apartheid government is now abolished. Things are far from equal. The effects of apartheid, of a history of oppression, are still visible in every thread of South Africa’s fabric today.

The white privilege in South Africa is glaringly visible. It’s in the township settlements, which are largely populated by the Black population. It’s in the elite jobs and positions that are held mostly by white people, even though they only make up eight percent of the country’s population. It’s in the crime and safety issues, where it is easy to point fingers at Black people, but not so easy to look deep into the past and current set-up of the country that led to this point.

Where do we go from here?

The world has been working on recognizing our ignorances and privileges and speaking up for what’s right. It has been eye-opening. It’s been hard. It’s been heavy. It’s been… well, nothing compared to what Black people have been experiencing for centuries.

I believe South Africa has one of the biggest challenges to confront as its racism is ingrained deeply and recently throughout the entire country. It’s going to take some major privilege checks, introspection, hard conversations, and affirmative action to understand the problem and implement solutions.

So for travellers like myself who love this country dearly, we must speak up. We must educate ourselves, educate others, have the tough conversations, donate to organizations fighting for Black lives, support Black businesses, read books, watch documentaries, confront our own shortcomings, do whatever we have to do — there is always more to do — but just don’t do nothing. Being not racist isn’t good enough; we must be anti-racist. The responsibility lies on everyone who disagrees with racism to fight it. There is no excuse for doing nothing.

Travelling is about meeting people from different nations, experiencing new cultures and ways of life. Next time we go to South Africa, or next time we travel anywhere, let’s keep a special eye out for the differences that make us unique. Let’s acknowledge them and speak up about them. Let’s speak about the Black Lives Movement and this exact moment in time. Let’s see how uncomfortable people get. Let’s make ourselves uncomfortable. We all know that travel is about getting out of your comfort zone, right? Let’s push for a better world.

South Africa, I love you. I want to grow and do better. I hope you do, too.

Cover Photo by Kellie Paxian: African Black Oystercatcher with Rainbow in Plettenberg Bay

Once I returned from my first solo trip, I knew I had changed. It started with me sitting nervously on a flight to Vienna, butterflies swirling around in my stomach and desperately hoping to meet at least one person. Fast-forward a week later; I had travelled to Salzburg and Krakow, full of memories that included dinners, mountains, late-nights, and new friends. 

I returned from this first trip more confident, self-assured, and strong. It was refreshing to be in the driver’s seat of my own itinerary. More than that, it was heart-warming to learn just how approachable you become and how large the capacity to meet people is when you travel alone. This new discovery propelled me to more trips, stints abroad, and solo adventures. And each trip prepared me for the next; I learnt how to be a better traveller. 

My experiences with solo travel have also unsurprisingly aided in self-development, work skills, creative pursuits, and social circles. Little did I know that my lessons learned from travelling alone would be transferable to the current climate. Up until a month ago, I was living short-term in Morocco. COVID-19 quickly sunk its teeth across all borders and I was swiftly on a repatriation flight back to Canada where I immediately went into two weeks of self-isolation. But all my years of travelling alone equipped me with emotional endurance and strength. I never imagined these lessons would come in handy as much as they have during this global pandemic.

A broader perspective on the world 

Before I travelled alone, I lived in a bubble. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when I was out of my comfort zone and in different environments, I became aware of the small space I take up. How humble my world all of a sudden felt in the midst of millions of interconnected stories. Before travelling alone, my blind spot was huge. Afterwards, I learnt how to open my eyes and see from another point of view. Meeting people from various cultures gave me a better grip on different realities. 

Finding myself in self-isolation, I was able to pivot my perspective yet again, because I had the hindsight of how helpful it is to acknowledge the world beyond one’s own biases. I was able to look at the bigger picture from a number of angles. I was worried and nervous about how everything was impacting my life, but so were my friends in Vietnam and Sri Lanka. I looked at how certain countries were handling it poorly and how other countries were handling it better. Having this broader perspective was instrumental in my daily check-ins during self-isolation. 

Confronting and accepting my own emotions  

Travelling alone makes it hard to distract from what you’re feeling. While you have a high amount of stimulating experiences at your fingertips, you’re simultaneously presented with opportunities to reflect on your past, present, and future. One evening, I could find myself socializing on a fun pub crawl that a hostel organized and contrarily be alone on a long train ride the next day. You’re always experiencing this constant push and pull of emotions. 

Solo travel has offered me transformational growth because I’ve had more space to show up for my feelings and explore them deeper, rather than giving in to distractions. In self-isolation, I still had a lot happening around me. News stories breaking, media erupting, and family checking in. Yet, I had a lot brewing internally. My solo travel experiences equipped me with the necessary tools to process my emotions and accept them. 

Surrendering to circumstances beyond my control 

Travelling solo, and travelling in general, will undoubtedly offer unpredictable speed bumps. Whether it may be a delayed train, a closed attraction, or getting caught in a flash flood, it’s nearly impossible to control your entire itinerary. Eventually, you learn that it’s best to succumb and adapt to changing circumstances rather than resist them. You save yourself a lot of energy. 

This was especially relevant when the uncertainty of time left in Morocco turned into taking a last-minute flight 24 hours later. Arriving in Montreal with the recommendations from health experts in mind prohibited me from seeing my family right away like I usually do; instead, I had to surrender to self-imposed isolation for two weeks. This scenario was not ideal but necessary. Learning not to let circumstances beyond my control negatively affect my mindset enabled me to move forward without resistance.

Adapting to different daily routines

One of the most novel, exciting, yet exhausting aspects of travelling alone is that every day is different. It initially felt like a shock to my system when the routines that I had become accustomed to as a student or full-time worker were thrown out the door. When travelling alone, you often find yourself waking up in a new city, having to plan what local transportation you might have to use, and where to get breakfast. It’s an adjustment, but this is also half the fun of travelling alone and something I quickly got used to. The more I travelled solo, the quicker I wrapped my head around changing bus schedules, new languages, and different currencies. Varying daily itineraries just became normal. 

The same can be said about self-isolating. My work is freelance and assignment-based so this is already heavily determined by clients’ needs and my own initiatives. My typical choices for food were dependent on what was in stock and I incorporated different workout routines and virtual calls that fit in with my own energy levels and the schedules of others. Even though self-isolation was its own kind of strange, I wasn’t immediately thrown off by a contrasting change of pace.

Connecting to family and friends virtually

My long-term trips and time spent living abroad have meant that I’ve gotten good at connecting with loved ones virtually. Specifically, as a solo female traveller, it’s important that I check in to give my family updates. Carving out time for a virtual hangout with a good friend or family member was a common practice for me throughout my solo travels. Not only did it keep the people that matter to me in the loop, but it grounded me. While abroad, I wasn’t always certain of when I would see someone in the near future. Talking to a good friend, albeit on a screen, and keeping in touch became extremely comforting. 

Similarly, during my two weeks of self-isolation, I knew how equally important it was to set out intentional time to connect with family and friends, and across numerous time zones. While many others were adapting to Facetiming loved ones they usually see in person, I was already accustomed to it. 

Asking for Help 

It’s easier to problem solve when you travel with friends or an organized group. You can quickly put heads together and can rely on teamwork to achieve certain goals. But travelling alone doesn’t provide the same luxury. You are a bit more vulnerable and have to sometimes trust your own instincts. I recall travelling through China alone and sometimes feeling like a deer in headlights with confusion. And although I have an independent soul and like to figure things out on my own, I’ve learnt that asking for help is often the best solution. Whether it’s asking for directions or general advice, asking for help when it’s warranted has saved me time, stress, and money. Sometimes I’ve even made a new friend. But more importantly, it’s taught me the balance of self-reliance and knowing when to seek support.

In self-isolation, I was quick to realize again how I couldn’t do everything on my own. I asked a good friend in Montreal to get my groceries for me. I asked the staff at my accommodations for laundry machine change because I didn’t have Canadian currency. Knowing that if you ask politely, people will generally want to help you has been a saving grace for me in solo travels and isolation. 

Being comfortable in my own company 

The difference between being alone and lonely was more recognizable once I had solo travelled. I used to think that solo travel meant you were always lonely. On the contrary, travelling solo armored me with this newfound self-awareness and I learnt how to enjoy my own company. I’ve met so many people while out on my own and I’ve made incredible friendships that I wouldn’t have made if I wasn’t travelling alone. At the same time, I was also having meals, visiting museums, and taking hikes, all on my own. 

What these experiences gave me was a deep sense of self-love and comfort with alone time when it’s available. I now thoroughly enjoy having time to journal, read my book, or just sit and observe the world around me without feeling like I always need company. In self-isolation, this strong sense of self was even more apparent as I was eating every meal alone or watching entertainment alone. Solo travel empowered me to develop a better relationship with myself and that ultimately resonated enormously in self-isolation. 

“You’re going there… alone!?”

“Is it safe?”

“Won’t you be scared?” 

Solo female travel tends to generate questions of safety, regardless of the destination. It is often believed that a woman travelling alone is inherently dangerous, prompting solo female travelers to evaluate potential risks and safety measures. However, most places around the world are relatively safe as long as you take certain precautions. Furthermore, what most consider as dangerous can be heavily conflated with misconceptions and stereotypes. 

When I visited Rwanda as a solo female traveler, I was pleasantly assured by how secure I felt, and empowered by how confidently I was able to move around this beautiful country. While Europe is a viable first option for women looking to hit the road solo, East Africa, and more specifically Rwanda, should be not be overlooked. Here is why Rwanda is the next best destination for solo female travelers. 

 English is a common language

While Rwanda’s official languages are French, English, and Kinyarwanda, English is widely spoken and understood, easing communication on the ground. When travelling alone, and especially as a woman, it undoubtedly aids to have minimum communication barriers. You may need to ask questions or take local transport, and you’ll definitely want to have plenty of conversations with locals. It relieves some stress and pressure knowing you will be able to travel without a strong language barrier. Better yet, if you speak French as well, you may be able to use a bit of it in Rwanda!

Small and safe

There is not an overwhelming amount of ground to cover in Rwanda. Generally, it takes around four hours to get from Kigali to any end of the country. This makes it easier to travel to various parts in a short period of time. It was very easy to just show up at a station, get a ticket, then be on a bus within the hour. More importantly, Rwanda is a very safe country. Regardless of whether you are in Rwanda or any other part of the world, you should take precautions as you would anywhere travelling alone. Take little valuables with you and always let someone you trust know of your whereabouts. During my time in Rwanda, I never felt unsafe or threatened. 

Accessible transportation 

Rwanda has very effective local transportation options, including express and private buses. The international airport is located in the capital city, Kigali. The main bus station in Kigali links to spots all over the country with affordable buses leaving frequently to various destinations. If you want to easily get around the city of Kigali, a common method of transportation is a moto-taxi. This mode is efficient and cheap, getting you from point A to point B without a hassle. Don’t worry — the drivers should always have a second helmet for you and if they don’t, just get the next one. 

Friendly locals

Rwandans are incredibly friendly. Whether it is your barista, tour guide, or bus driver, they are quick to offer help and guidance. When I visited Rwanda, I couch-surfed with a woman in Kigali around my age and quickly befriended the neighbors in her community, sharing food and dancing under the stars. Every day was pleasant as I was constantly being greeted with smiles and curious questions. 

National progress 

While the 1994 Rwandan Genocide leaves a stark imprint on the country’s history and present, it is also very much in the past, leaving devastation behind to the best of its ability as the nation paves a road of growth in the economy, government, education, and women’s rights. Progress is still being made, but the country has certainly made great strides and visiting as a tourist helps contribute to one of their biggest industries. 

 Large expat community

There are many other foreigners in Rwanda, including expats and travelers. While you may travel there alone, you will not necessarily always be by yourself. Especially in Kigali, there are well-known social events offered at many bars and restaurants where the atmosphere is conducive to meeting like-minded individuals. 

 Solo-friendly activities

Whether you have money saved to see the famous mountain gorillas, you want to learn more about women’s social enterprises or Rwandan history, there are several amazing tours and attractions that will quickly fill your itinerary. I definitely recommend making a visit to Nyamirambo Women’s Center, which offers classes and tours entirely guided and owned by local people. If you are looking for an all-around adventure, consider taking a tour with Go Kigali where you get to visit some must-see spots and some hidden gems you wouldn’t otherwise know about with a local guide. This also presents another great opportunity to meet new friends on your tour!

Coffee shop culture

Coffee shops are a comfort for the soul, as well as for solo female travelers. Whether you need a space to recharge or want to learn more about the coffee industry in Rwanda, you can explore the coffee shop scene to your heart’s desire. Not only does Rwanda grow delicious coffee beans, but they have also grown impeccable coffee chains and cafes. There are several quirky and cozy coffee shop options to feed your love of caffeine and learning. Check out Question Coffee while you are in Kigali!

Beautiful scenery

The mountainous ranges, sparkling lakes, and quaint rivers are worth a trip on their own. It becomes even more special when you are travelling alone and experiencing the present moment with heightened awareness. Your jaw will consistently drop as you zip up and around through the mountains on a bus or moto-taxi. I was quite enthralled by the breathtaking landscapes around every corner in Rwanda, especially on the shores of Lake Kivu to the west. 

Something for everyone 

Regardless of the travel experience you are seeking, Rwanda has something for every solo female traveler. There is a plethora of food, activities, and experiences that can fit every interest and budget. Even more, it’s a great gateway to explore more of East Africa. You’re in for an experience you will never forget!